9 Core Beliefs Around Money That Are Holding You BackMay 23, 2022
Have you ever thought about your beliefs around money? No? Neither had I until last year when I started a financial coaching course by Catherine Morgan. I'm still trying to figure out my beliefs around money as nothing is ever straightforward right, but just bringing curiosity to these beliefs has been an eye opener! Especially learning that being a People Pleaser (which I am) is a psychological disorder!
I get that from my dad. He is such a People Pleaser and puts others before himself. To be honest, I never really saw anything wrong with that. It's only now when I think about it and ask myself questions around it that I realise it has limited me in many ways. For one, I can't remember the last time I took some time out for myself. I think it's called self care! Anyhow, enough about me! You want to know what this means for you right?
We all have our own individual relationship with money. Our own experiences, influences and environments have shaped our perception of money. Think about your early memories and experiences around money and the beliefs you attach to these.
Did you grow up watching your parents work 7 days a week for money? Do you believe that you have to work hard for money? What did you hear about money growing up? Did you hear that rich people are greedy? That people who want to spend money on themselves are selfish or materialistic? What is your relationship with money? What are the core beliefs you are holding onto? When we start to think about what we heard about money growing up, we start to realise why we think a certain way about money. We attach our own perceptions to what we heard when we were growing up. 9 examples of narratives that inform our mindsets are:
- It is more important to give to others than myself (The People Pleaser).
- It is better to give than to receive. This is called 'Fawning'.
- Don't spend it all at once.
- There will never be enough
- You have to work hard to make money.
- Rich people are greedy.
- We can't afford that.
- There will never be enough.
- There will always be enough.
I know I keep bringing it up but being a People Pleaser is a psychological disorder as we feel safe by looking after everyone else's needs first. This is more common for women. If you heard "don't spend it all at once" growing up then this can cause hoarding. "There will never be enough" can create a poverty or scarcity mindset and "there will always be enough" can create financial dependency.
These are our borrowed beliefs. Beliefs tend to go back through the generations. Think about your grandparents and what their beliefs may have been. Their behaviour would have impacted on your parents and then your parents' behaviour impacts upon your relationship with money. So by changing your relationship with money you can change your children's relationship with money and the future generations ahead of you.
These core beliefs keep you safe but it is time that we question them. In my next blog I will be revealing the 5 questions you should ask yourself to realise your core beliefs and perceptions around money. The first step is to bring curiosity to the belief and get your own eye opener moment!