Okay, so what are we today? Day 23.

Things are getting easier.

Last night was Friday, and honestly, I really wanted a drink when I got home. That old reflex kicked in - have one, unwind, it’s the weekend. But I didn’t. 

You know what’s been helping me lately? Every morning, right after I exercise, I take about ten minutes to just sit. No phone. No distractions. Just me, breathing, being still, and thinking about how pretty amazing it is to simply be alive.

I mean, really think about it: out of billions of possibilities, one single sperm and one single egg came together at exactly the right moment to create me. The odds are mind-blowing. And the same is true for you - the very fact that you’re here, reading this, is incredible.

Then I shift my thoughts to gratitude - for my home, good food, my health, my boys, and the simple freedom to choose how I spend my day. The list could go on.

After that, I set my intentions for the day. How I want to show up. How I want to see the world. That’s it - ten quiet minutes. But doing it consistently has grounded me. I think this might be me connecting with my inner core - that blue dot I mentioned in my last post.

And you know what? My sleep is getting better too. Last night, for the first time in a while, I wasn’t anxious before bed. My mind wasn’t racing. It was… calm. I got home around 8:30, chatted with the boys, read a bit of 'Blink', and fell asleep. Slept right through the night. It’s like my body and mind are finally resetting.

I’ve slowed down - properly slowed down - and to my surprise, it feels… good. Peaceful, even.

Right now, as I write this, the cat’s curled up next to me, the boys are playing with their friend, and I’m eating a yoghurt. And you know what? I’m actually enjoying this moment. Like, properly here for it.

I think that’s what’s been missing - presence.

Lately, I’ve been picturing my thoughts as a red, scribbly cloud swirling above my head - the endless noise, stories, judgements, and beliefs that have shaped me over time. Then, I imagine a blue dot at my core - my calm centre, the place of real knowing, the quiet space I can return to whenever I need to escape the chaos.

When those red thoughts start swirling, I remind myself - they’re just perceptions, not facts. Two people can go through the exact same experience and walk away with completely different stories. That’s how I know my thoughts aren’t always the truth. They’re just thoughts. They don’t define me.

Picturing them as that red scribble above my head has helped more than I can explain. I can actually see them - messy, noisy, spinning around up there. And the fact that they’re red says it all for me. It's a warning light, a signal that this isn’t where truth or calm lives. That’s just the noise.

When I need clarity, I try to tune back into my blue dot - that still, quiet space inside where everything feels steady and real.

And something’s shifting because of it. I’m starting to live more in the present. I’m learning that I don’t always have to be doing or fixing or achieving. I can just be.

That used to feel uncomfortable - like I was wasting time - but now, when that little voice whispers, “Sarah, be productive,” I know it’s just another red thought. And instead, my blue dot reminds me, “It’s okay. You can rest. You can just exist for a bit.”

And you know what? That’s freedom.

I know I’m not going to change overnight, but having this realisation is giving me permission to just be - to sit, to breathe, to feel, and to actually be here.

Being “productive” isn’t just about crossing tasks off an endless to-do list - but that’s exactly what I was doing. True productivity is about creating and doing things that genuinely nourish your life. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is slow down, reflect and reconnect with yourself. That’s when real insights emerge - when you start to see what needs to change, what you can do differently, and what will have the biggest impact. Lately, I’ve realised I need to rethink the way I work and reinvent how I approach things - to act with intention, not just motion.

I can’t fully explain it - but I feel like I’m finally listening to myself, not just that red scribble above my head. That noise doesn’t have the same power it used to.

I keep thinking back to my session with Jessie and the effect its already had on me. The insights, the awareness, the sense that I’m finally coming home to myself. 

Day 23. Calm. Grounded. Slowly, finally, starting to feel truly alive again. 🩷