Right now I’m feeling pretty annoyed. I wasn’t planning to write a blog post today, but sometimes the only way to stop something going round and round in your head is to get it out. Because that’s exactly what this has been doing, sitting there, replaying itself, making me more frustrated the more I think about it.

In a nutshell, someone I care about a lot was made to feel like rubbish the other day by someone else. Maybe that person was stressed. Maybe they were under pressure. Maybe they had things going on in their own head that nobody else could see. But the truth is, none of that gives anyone the right to speak to another human being with disrespect. Just because you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or dealing with things in your own mind doesn’t give you the right to belittle someone else or make them feel small. Stress is not an excuse for disrespect, and pressure is not a free pass to treat people badly.

If I’m being totally honest, I’ve definitely had moments in the past where a bad day or rubbish feelings spilled over and affected the people I care about most, intentionally or not. I’ve made mistakes. But I’ve apologised for them and tried to learn from them, because that’s what being human is about. We all get things wrong sometimes. None of us are perfect. What matters is whether we recognise it, take responsibility, and choose to grow from it.

But when you’re in a management role or a senior position, the standard should be higher. Leadership isn’t about power or authority, it’s about responsibility. It’s about understanding that your words carry weight, that your tone can shape someone’s confidence, and that how you treat people can stay with them far longer than you realise. It’s not okay to take things out on people just because of what’s going on with you. And it’s definitely not okay to shout at someone or make them feel like they’re worthless. Real leadership doesn’t tear people down. Real leadership lifts people up.

Today I messaged the person I’m talking about just to check in and see how she was feeling. She’d been ill on Friday, so I wanted to see if she was doing any better. And that's when she told me what had happened. From her message, I could tell it had really affected her. It was clearly playing on her mind and making her feel like rubbish. It had upset her. And knowing that someone who is genuinely such a good person had been left feeling like that… that’s the part that's really getting to me.

This person is truly amazing. She’s kind, caring, empathetic, genuine, non-judgemental, warm and open. She’s the kind of person who makes people feel comfortable just by being around. She makes people feel good about themselves, and that’s rare. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she’s special. I honestly don’t think there’s anyone who could do her job as well as she does. I look forward to seeing her when she’s in, and I notice when she’s not. People like that change the atmosphere of a place. They make it better just by being there.

But as amazing as she is, moments like this can knock her confidence. I know her well enough to know that experiences like that can sneak into her mind, whispering things that aren’t true, making her question her worth, her ability, her value. And it's really getting to me, because she didn’t deserve it. Not even close.

Over time I’ve realised something important about people. People don’t give you what you deserve, they give you who they are. Their kindness, their patience, their empathy, their frustration, their insecurity. What someone gives you is a reflection of them, not a reflection of your worth. Which means something else is also true: you are responsible for giving yourself what you deserve.

So if you’re someone who has ever been made to feel small, remember this. Your kindness is not weakness. Your empathy is not something to apologise for. Your warmth, your compassion, and the way you show up for other people with a full heart are strengths. They are rare strengths. The world needs more people who treat others with respect, patience and humanity, not fewer.

So keep showing up as the person you are. Keep leading with kindness. Keep being the person who makes others feel seen and valued. Because one careless moment, one stressed person, or one bad interaction does not get to define your worth. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. 🩷🩷🩷