Okay, so here’s the thing… I was absolutely fine - and then something happened the other day that sent me spiralling.

I’ve always thought it would be amazing to hire my friend and work with her in my business. For a long time, I simply couldn’t afford her, but now I can. And deep down, I know this is the right thing to do. So I called her and we started talking about what it could look like for her to join me. At the time, it felt really good. Natural. Right. And then… about a day later, my brain went into overdrive.

Luckily, I’ve just had a session with Jessie and I feel a lot calmer now. But I wanted to share this with you, because maybe it’ll help if you’ve ever found yourself in the same headspace.

Here’s what was happening in my mind. At first, the idea felt like a little fairytale. You know the feeling - you get an idea in your head and it looks amazing. It feels exciting, like it could genuinely make a difference. Everything about it feels positive, hopeful and energising. Then reality hits.

Turning an idea into reality means time, energy and solving new problems. Unexpected challenges. New costs. Adjustments. And suddenly I started seeing all the hurdles - the money involved, the changes I’d need to make - and I completely lost sight of why this was a good idea in the first place. My mind spiralled into self-doubt and negativity… and then stress. I think part of it was simply that this is a big change. A big step in my business. And change is uncomfortable. And unknown. Right?

Just the other week I felt like I’d had this small but powerful epiphany about thoughts - how they shape our experience of life, but they aren’t facts. They’re just our perspective. I felt calm and clear. And then the last few days hit, and suddenly I was all tangled up in my head again. Jessie reminded me that this is completely normal. It’s just human. And honestly, if I weren’t working with her, I probably would have taken my thoughts far too seriously, even though I know what they really are: passing stories. Old memories replaying. Scenarios I haven’t even lived yet. And fears about a future that hasn’t even arrived.

I told Jessie I understood why so many people talk themselves out of things. It would have been so easy for me to convince myself that bringing someone on board would just add stress - more clients to manage, more revenue to generate, more pressure on the business. And then the questions started piling up: How will I still have enough time with my boys? What if I can’t handle the extra responsibility? What if it doesn’t work out?

The crazy thing is, some of the things I was telling myself, when I actually say them out loud, sound completely ridiculous. For some reason, my brain goes straight to the extremes - imagining that this step is somehow taking the business to a massive, terrifying level, when in reality it’s not. And hearing my thoughts reflected back by Jessie made me realise just how over-the-top they were. God, isn’t it crazy how easily I can get caught up in them again? Even the classic “don’t work with friends” thought started creeping in, and for a moment I bought it. But really, what a load of rubbish. If I trust her, if we’re honest and open with each other, if I completely believe in her, that’s an advantage - not a risk - compared with bringing someone I don’t know into the business. Just because someone else has had a bad experience doesn’t make it the rule. There are no rules. It’s about what feels right for me, for us, for this business. And goddamn, it annoys me sometimes how easily I get caught up in societal norms or what other people say - because it’s just their experience or their thoughts, not mine. Not mine.

Those weren’t moments of clarity at all. They were my mind spiralling into worst-case scenarios, turning assumptions into if-they-were-facts, and convincing me everything was far worse than it actually was. During our session, Jessie kept telling me to slow down. I could hear it in my own voice - how fast I was thinking, how urgent everything felt, how tightly wound I was. She even said she could see it in my face at the start, and I could feel it too. At one point, I was scribbling all over a piece of paper - something I only ever do when I’m completely caught up in my head. Eventually, she literally stopped me and said, “Sarah, I really need you to slow down.” And over the course of that session, slowly but surely… my mind did.

When I actually pause and look at the situation properly, it's obvious that the story I was telling myself isn't true. Bringing my friend into the business will free up a huge amount of my time. Right now, so much of my energy is being drained by reports, paperwork, and admin - tasks I don’t enjoy and, honestly, aren’t the best use of my time. I can feel it while I’m doing them too - that low-level frustration bubbling up, that little voice whispering, “Sarah, this isn’t where your time should be going. Come on, you know it.”

That time could be spent doing what I love most - and what will genuinely benefit the business - meeting clients, connecting with people and growing things in a way that actually feels meaningful. And that’s the part I had completely lost sight of. This decision isn’t going to make my life heavier. If anything, it’s far more likely to make it lighter. Yes, it comes with more responsibility. Yes, it means stepping into the unknown and learning a lot. But how am I supposed to grow if I don’t? And how is the business meant to grow if I never give it the chance?

During that phone call with my friend, she told me something which has stuck. Very bluntly, she said that the way I run certain parts of my business is… a bit stupid. No sugar-coating. And honestly, that’s exactly what I need. I don’t need people to tiptoe around me. I need someone who challenges me, who calls me out and pushes me to stop people-pleasing my way through running a business, and start running it properly.

The hard part is that I know this will mean uncomfortable conversations. I hate them. But they’re unavoidable if I actually want to grow. Growth, in business and in life, only ever comes from leaning into discomfort, not avoiding it. Going into the unknown feels scary because we’re leaving what’s familiar… but one day that uncomfortable place becomes normal. You get used to it. You grow into it.

I was thinking about this with exercise. A few years ago, the gym felt completely outside my comfort zone. Classes felt awkward and I had no idea what I was doing. Now it’s just part of my life. I go to spin, I stretch, I sit quietly in the "fish" room afterwards and don’t care who’s around me. I walk into classes even when I’m not totally sure what I’m meant to be doing, and I enjoy them. Not because I suddenly became confident… but because I kept showing up until it became normal.

It’s the same with business. With connection. With putting yourself out there. The first time feels awkward and scary. Then it feels a little easier. And eventually, it’s just how you are.

Jessie told me that whenever she’s facing something big, she doesn’t try to figure out the whole picture - she just focuses on the next step. She asks herself, what is the next step right now? And I remember thinking, yes… that’s it. That’s exactly what will actually help me. Instead of trying to solve my entire future, I just need to ask myself, what’s the next step? Not the next ten steps. Not the full plan. Not how it’s all going to play out. Just the very next thing in front of me. The moment I stop trying to hold everything at once and focus only on what’s actually doable right now, my mind settles - and moving forward suddenly feels possible again.

You really never know how things will unfold. You take one step, and it doesn’t go exactly as you imagined, and suddenly the next step looks different. And that’s a beautiful thing. When you move step by step, you’re guided by what feels right in the moment, not by fear, overthinking, or imagined outcomes.

So when everything feels overwhelming, slow down. Focus only on the next step. Not the future. Not the past. Just what’s in front of you right now. One step at a time. That’s how progress happens, that’s how clarity comes, and that’s how you get to exactly where you’re meant to be. 🩷