I know today is meant to be a money post, but I’m not really feeling a money post. So instead, I’m just going to write about this week, a few things that happened and some thoughts that have been going around in my head.

I had a bit of a wobble this week, particularly on Thursday. Do you ever have those days when you’re just tired and everything feels like an effort? Nothing is dramatically wrong. On another day, you’d probably be fine, but for some reason, everything feels heavier than it should. I wasn’t feeling great, and I had a load of work that needed to be finished for the following day. Naturally, I dealt with this by putting it off and finding lots of other, less important things to do instead.

I was sitting in my room at the office on my own when I suddenly thought, I’m going home. I’ve had enough. Nothing terrible had happened, and there wasn’t one big thing I could point to. I just felt overwhelmed, completely done and, if I’m honest, a bit fed up with my own company. I emailed the lady I share an office with to see where she was, got an out-of-office reply and thought, Right, that’s it. I’m going home.

On the way out, I passed someone and just started rambling at them. You know when you just start talking and the words come blurting out of your mouth before you’ve actually thought them through? Because, if you had thought them through, you probably would have stopped talking about five minutes ago. To be fair, I do this quite a lot. I really need to learn when to shut up. This person must think I’m slightly mad, although they always seem to catch me when I’m having some sort of mini-meltdown, so I can’t really blame them.

Then I saw the receptionist. She took one look at me and asked what was wrong. Clearly, whatever I was feeling was written all over my face. Long story short, I think I just needed a hug. Actually, I hugged her three times. I don’t know what it is about her, but she just makes me feel better. You know when you meet someone like that? I know I’m always going on about her, but honestly, she’s an angel.

She told me it was okay not to be okay. And look, I know that. At least, I know it when I’m saying it to somebody else. When it comes to me, I seem to forget. There’s a part of me that believes I should always be okay, and when I’m not, I get frustrated with myself. Maybe it’s because I know how lucky I am compared with a lot of people. Maybe it’s because some of my frustration and stress comes from choices I’ve made myself. Or maybe it’s simply because feeling like this sucks, and you just want to feel normal again, you know?

But knowing that other people have it worse doesn’t magically make your own feelings disappear. You can be grateful for your life and still have a bad day. You can know that you’re lucky and still feel overwhelmed. Both things can be true at the same time. Then another lady who sometimes covers reception came in, and we hugged too. I know, I was feeling a bit needy. But sometimes you just need a hug, alright?

I’ve realised that I naturally gravitate towards older people. I think it’s because they’ve lived through so much more life. They’ve experienced things I haven’t yet, and they often have a calmness and wisdom that only come with time. The other week, I was sitting in the doctor’s surgery when a man (I’d guess he was in his eighties) sat next to me and started chatting. He told me he had been one of the first male nurses in the UK and began sharing stories about his life and career. He was really interesting.

Every time a doctor came out and called somebody’s name, I looked up. He asked whether he was boring me, and I said, “Not at all, I’m just really hard of hearing.” He asked me my name and told me he would listen out for it being called. I mean, I never expected to go to the doctor and end up with an eighty-year-old man listening out for my name, but there we were.

A lot of elderly people are lonely, yet I think they can be some of the best people to talk to. They’ve experienced so much and can tell us things about the way life and society used to be, things we would never otherwise know. They have stories. They have perspective. And quite often, they just talk sense. 

I guess that’s why I like being around them so much. The conversations rarely feel surface-level. They understand what life is really about because they’ve lived through so much of it. It sometimes feels as though they’ve stopped trying to prove themselves and have simply come home to who they are. And I guess that’s what life is about, right? Letting go of who you think you should be and becoming comfortable with who you actually are. 

Maybe that’s what the receptionist was giving me on Thursday. Not just a hug, but a little bit of perspective. Not the sort that says, Other people have it worse, so pull yourself together. The kind that says, You don’t have to pull yourself together immediately. You’re allowed to be human.

I still wasn’t feeling amazing yesterday, although I was better than I had been on Thursday. Then, at exactly the right moment, I received a really kind message from someone. It was from a client, just saying that she valued our chats. It was only a short message, but it genuinely meant something to me because, in my not-quite-okayness, I had started doubting myself again. I was wondering whether I was making much of a difference to people or having any sort of positive impact. And then that message popped up.

She probably had no idea how much I needed to hear it at that moment. It reminded me that the thoughts running around my head weren’t facts. They were just unhelpful thoughts created by a tired brain on a difficult day. I remember thinking, Okay, you’re not seeing things clearly right now. That’s alright. You’ll feel better in a few days.

I also had two meetings yesterday, and I think I’ve mentioned this before, but spending time with clients has a way of lifting me out of my own head, even when I’m tired and not feeling completely myself. It makes me fully present. During those meetings, I felt okay. I was okay. I enjoyed talking, listening, learning and connecting with the people in front of me. For that time, I wasn’t caught up in my own thoughts. I was simply there with somebody else.

I suppose that’s one of the things I’ve taken from this week: when you’re tired or feeling low, good people can be a lifeline. Not because they solve everything for you or say something so profound that all your problems disappear. Sometimes they just hug you. Sometimes they listen out for your name. Sometimes they send a kind message without realising how much you need it. Sometimes they sit opposite you and have a conversation that helps you forget your own thoughts for a while.

There are people who make life feel heavier, of course, but there are also people who make it feel lighter simply by being kind, decent human beings. Being around those people can pull you back towards yourself.

Anyway, I’ve digressed. I’m not even entirely sure what this blog post is about anymore. Maybe it’s just about being human and about the people who make life feel a little lighter when we’re not feeling great.

It’s okay to have a bad day when nothing is obviously wrong. It’s okay to struggle even though somebody else has it worse. You don’t need to produce a perfectly reasonable explanation for feeling overwhelmed or low. It’s okay to pause, to lean on people, to go home or to hug the receptionist three times if that’s what you need.

I’m still not feeling completely myself. But this morning I went for a quick gym session and tidied the house because those small things usually help me feel a little more grounded. I know this is temporary. I know it will pass. My thoughts will settle and I’ll feel like myself again.

Sometimes you don’t need to solve everything immediately, even though you desperately want to. Sometimes you just need to remember that your thoughts aren’t always telling you the truth and that, like everything else, they will pass. Be kind to yourself while you wait for the clouds to move, and let the good people around you remind you that you don’t have to find your way back alone. 🩷