Why Slowing Down Helps You Think Clearly and Move Forward
Oct 23, 2026
Last night I woke up at around 3am with a realisation that felt so obvious once it hit me. You know when something suddenly clicks and you think, how did I not see that before? Closely followed by, hmm… I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do on myself. Always a lovely discovery in the middle of the night. But underneath the discomfort, I guess I feel grateful. I’ve seen something about myself that I hadn’t seen before, and although I can't say I'm particularly pleased with it, at least I can begin to do something about it.
I think it started with a session I had with Jessie on Wednesday. We were talking about business, but something she said found its way into a much more personal part of my life. We hadn’t discussed that directly. She made a comment, I went away, and then something happened the following day that brought up a feeling I didn’t particularly like. But this time I thought, hang on, why has that made me feel like this? What’s going on in my head? I could sense that something in the way I was thinking about it was stirring up that feeling, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what. Then, at 3am, when I would really rather have been asleep, it suddenly made sense.
Jessie’s comment had been about urgency. She said that urgency is a state of mind, which I kept thinking about. And when this other feeling came up, I found myself questioning it. Because I'm pretty sure someone else wouldn't have had the same emotional reaction. I had a sense that there was an unhelpful thought or an old pattern in there, but I couldn’t really see it while I was caught up in the emotion. Later, when I felt calmer, I kept coming back to it. And then, in the middle of the night, it finally clicked. Oh my God. That’s what I’ve been doing. And that’s why.
It felt like quite a big moment. I started recognising a pattern I’d repeated without really understanding it. Something familiar that I kept finding my way back to, even though it wasn’t doing me any good. And once I could see it, I wondered how I’d missed it for so long. There was a bit of discomfort in that, obviously. But also a sense of relief. At least now I understand something about myself that might help me make a different choice next time.
I’m keeping the details to myself, but I wanted to share how differently I could see things once my head had quietened down. Trying to work it all out while I was caught up in the feeling didn't get me very far. Giving it a little space has helped. Which brings me back to what Jessie and I had been talking about in the first place: how fast I’ve been going, and what I might notice if I slowed down a bit.
Recently, I seem to have been going at full speed. My head feels busy, and somewhere along the way I’ve convinced myself that if I keep going and keep that energy up, I must be getting somewhere. But I can finish a day feeling as though I haven’t stopped, then struggle to say what I’ve actually done to move the business forward. And somehow, my answer is to try even harder the next day. Move faster. Fit more in. Basically, do more of the thing that’s already leaving me frustrated. I mean… probably time to rethink that one, isn’t it?
Jessie shared an analogy one of her clients had used: being in a snowstorm with a map. And I thought, yep. That’s exactly how it’s felt lately. I’ve got the map. I know there are places I want to get to. But I’m pushing through all this snow, barely able to see in front of me, feeling pleased that at least I’m still moving. Except I could be heading in completely the wrong direction. I could put an enormous amount of effort into getting somewhere, only to realise I need to turn around and walk all the way back. Then wonder why I’m exhausted and frustrated with myself.
It made me realise how reluctant I can be to pause. When there’s a lot to do, stopping feels almost irresponsible. Surely I should be getting on with something? But if I can’t see where I’m going, a few moments to let the snow settle might save me an awful lot of unnecessary walking. I understand that when I picture it. Remembering it when I’ve got an inbox full of emails and six things competing for my attention is where I need the practice.
By the end of our session, my head was so much calmer. My to-do list was still there, but let’s be honest, it always will be. I’ll cross things off and add a few more. The difference was that I could look at it without feeling quite so chased by it. I’d slowed down. A lot. So, until I next see Jessie, that’s what I’m paying attention to: how quickly I’m moving, how often I’m rushing through one thing just to get to the next, and when my thoughts have raced miles ahead of what I’m actually doing. Hopefully I’ll notice a little sooner and give myself a chance to catch up.
Before I saw Jessie on Wednesday, my head was running at full speed. I hadn’t planned to go into the office, but I had a few things to scan and a meeting that morning. Of course, I decided at the last minute to do the meeting from there, then rushed around trying to get in on time. Nearly knocked someone over on the way upstairs, which was a lovely, calm start. Despite only really coming in to scan a few things, I ended up staying until about 7.30pm. I had one of those restless days where I just couldn’t settle. The lady I share an office with was in a meeting in the boardroom downstairs, and I could hear everyone laughing. Meanwhile, I was upstairs thinking, “Oh, come on. I want to be in there. I’m bored by myself.”
Then I spotted the light on in the office next door. Brilliant. Someone to talk to. She’s very sweet and very good at humouring me. She gave me a chocolate bar, which was really thoughtful. Those little things mean a lot to me. Especially when you forget about it and then find it in your bag later. Unexpected chocolate. Magic. She’d had a presentation that morning, so later I popped back to ask how it had gone. And, to be fair, I really did want to know. Standing up in front of people is pretty much my worst fear, so I was pleased to hear it had gone well. Then I sat down in a chair and carried on chatting. Obviously.
Not long afterwards, I bumped into someone whose pension I’m helping with, and we ended up talking for a while too. That seemed to be the theme of my day. Do a bit of work. Find someone to chat to. Try sitting down again. See how long that lasts.
When I spoke to Jessie later, we were laughing about the possibility that I leave these conversations feeling energised while the other person is sitting there completely drained. A sort of energy vampire, wandering between offices looking for my next victim. She’ll probably turn the light off next time she hears me coming.
To be fair, even though I felt like I was going at a hundred miles an hour, possibly just in my head, I get a lot out of those conversations. Hearing about someone else’s day, learning a bit more about them, making a connection. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to settle and concentrate because I had loads to do. As always. But perhaps I was being a bit hard on myself. Being busy and being productive aren’t the same thing, and ticking things off a to-do list isn’t the only thing that makes a day worthwhile either.
And I’m realising that this belief that I need to be constantly busy isn’t helping me. I’m so caught up in keeping going that I can barely see where I’m heading. I need to slow down, let my head settle and give myself a chance to think clearly. Then I can make better decisions and put my energy into things that actually move me forward. Because I don’t want to keep ending the day exhausted, wondering how I’ve done so much and still feel no further along. š©·
