This week my brain has been doing that thing where thoughts just swirl around, and I have no idea where to start. So this post might be a little random - a mix of things that happened, thoughts I’ve had, and a few lessons I’ve picked up along the way. 

I’m blaming my recent operation. How long do you think I can use it as an excuse for everything? To be fair, my energy still isn’t back, and after thinking a gentle spin session last Thursday sounded like a good idea (it really wasn’t), I finally admitted the doctor actually does know best. Who knew.

A couple of days this week, I felt pretty drained. One evening, feeling wiped out, I convinced myself I was getting worse instead of better - classic drama queen moment. But by the next day, after a decent night’s sleep, I was basically human again. I guess low-energy, below-par days are normal, even if they make everything feel worse than it really is.

The Necklace

Last Saturday, my sister gave me a necklace as an early birthday present. I'd picked it out as it reminded me of a little motto I’ve been carrying in my head for the past few years.

The motto started during a time when a couple of people tried to intimidate me using money and “power,” basically thinking they could scare me into doing what they wanted. Naturally, it fuelled me, and my brain went a little… extreme. I even imagined selling my house just to take them to court. Hey, when emotions run high, a bit of dramatic thinking is allowed, right?

In the end, I calmed down, got a good solicitor involved, and the problem was resolved. That said, it still makes me seriously angry when people think they can bully others with money or power - the kind of “they’re not getting away with this, no matter how long it takes” angry.

During that time, I stuck a post-it on my wall that said: “Love wins.” Cheesy, right? But it worked. The necklace has a heart on it, and now I wear it almost every day as a reminder that no matter what nonsense life throws at you - the chaos in the world, the people who think it’s okay to bully or manipulate others - love wins in the end. And yes, call me naive if you like… but I believe it, even if it takes time.

The first day I wore it, paired with my baggy jumper, I probably looked like I was about to break into rap at any moment. The necklace isn’t exactly subtle, but hey, it means something to me, and that’s what matters.

Parenting, Panic, and Perspective

This week, we had a tricky situation at school with my son. When I found out, my heart dropped. But on the way home, I reminded myself: okay, this isn’t great - it sucks - but it’s just something that needs attention, and it can be handled.

When I got home, he had already talked to Luke about it. I told him to come and speak to me when he was ready, and about an hour later, he came downstairs. We sat together, talked it through, figured out what to do next, and shared what was probably the longest hug I’d had with him in a long time. What happened at school wasn’t great. But problems happen. Kids act out. Life throws curveballs. Sometimes the best you can do is face them calmly, together. 

Dealing with things calmly really does make everything feel more manageable, even when your first instinct is to panic. A few years ago, I’m not sure I would have been able to stay so composed, but I’ve learned that reacting emotionally rarely helps. I do think becoming more in tune with my “blue dot” (what I've been learning about with Jessie) - just staying calm and present, without getting swept up in the swirling thoughts - is becoming more natural.

I also find that seeing problems as simply things that need my attention really helps - at work, at home, everywhere. There will always be issues, no matter who you are or how much money you have. It’s just part of life: something will always need your attention, and what demands it most keeps changing over time.

My Takeaways From the Week

• Some days feel heavier than others. That’s normal.

• Small gestures carry huge meaning. Love really does win.

• Problems aren’t the end of the world - they’re just things that need attention.

• Doctors probably do know better. Shocking, I know.

At the end of the day, life will throw curveballs, people will frustrate you, and energy will ebb and flow - but a little calm, a lot of love, and the small things we do really do make all the difference. 🩷