Alright, so right now I’m in a bit of a weird limbo.

You might remember that I ended up in hospital last November and then again in July with exactly the same problem. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s back.

It turns out the consultant who warned me this could keep happening wasn’t just “managing my expectations”. She may actually have known what she was talking about after all… who would have thought, eh?!

I’m not particularly keen to go back to A&E and have another emergency operation, so I’ve been going backwards and forwards to the GP instead. I’ve now been referred to the Surgical Assessment Team, which feels like progress. I also recently had an MRI, so I’m hoping that, between the scan and the surgical team, someone might finally be able to work out why this keeps happening and stop it from coming back.

In the meantime, I’m not feeling great. I know there are people dealing with far worse, and I’m certainly not at death’s door, so I’m not complaining. I just know that something isn’t right. I feel generally unwell, although the antibiotics and painkillers are doing a fairly decent job of keeping everything under control for now.

So I’m stuck in that strange place where I’m not well enough to see clients, but okay enough to avoid another A&E trip. I’m expecting another operation may be coming, but I don’t know when. It could be in a few days, or I could be sitting here waiting for quite a while yet.

Naturally, I’ve responded to this uncertainty by going into full preparation mode. I’m working my way through the most urgent client work, everything at the top of my to-do list and anything else that might become important over the next couple of weeks. Because I’m deaf, I’m carrying my phone everywhere with the volume turned right up so I don’t miss a call from the doctors.

I’ve also done a huge food shop that I hoped would last at least a week, although the boys appear to have mistaken it for some sort of speed-eating challenge. I’ve bought their school uniforms and ordered everything else they apparently need to start secondary school. Most importantly, I’ve charged my Kindle.

I do feel awful about having to cancel client meetings, but I genuinely can’t do them at the moment. I think being unwell has also made me more emotional than usual. I sent one client an email apologising for cancelling our meeting, and she replied with the loveliest message. It very nearly made me cry.

The last two times I ended up in hospital, I was completely unprepared. Although, to be fair, the second time I did at least manage to take my toothbrush. This time, there’s food in the house, the school uniforms are sorted, my urgent work is being dealt with, and I have a selection of snacks packed and several books downloaded on my Kindle.

I may not know what is going to happen or when, but I’m as ready as I can be. Although, judging by the rate the boys are eating, I may need to do another food shop first.