If you’re going through a difficult time right now and it feels as though it has been one thing after another, I want you to listen to me. Maybe life keeps knocking your confidence, and just as you begin to find your feet, something else happens. Another disappointment, another setback or another thing you somehow have to find the strength to deal with. Perhaps you’re starting to wonder, What’s the point? How much more am I supposed to take?

It’s okay to feel like that. You don’t have to be strong every minute of every day, and you don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. Ask yourself what you need in this moment. Not what everyone else needs from you, but what you need. Then give yourself some of the same kindness, patience and grace that you would so freely offer to somebody you love.

But I also want you to remember something: other people’s actions are not a reflection of your character. The way somebody treated you does not determine your worth. Their inability to love you properly does not make you unlovable, and their rejection was not proof that you failed or were somehow not enough. You were always enough.

I know the thoughts inside your head may try to convince you otherwise. They may tell you that if you had been calmer, more confident or less complicated, things might have turned out differently. But you could spend your whole life changing yourself and still never be enough for the wrong person. Someone else will see everything they failed to see. They let you go. That was their mistake, not yours.

Hold your head high, not because none of it hurt, but because none of it gets to define you. You are so much more worthy than you believe, and one day I hope you will be able to recognise that for yourself. Until then, don’t let the noise inside your head bring you down. Don’t allow somebody else’s choices to become the story you tell yourself about who you are.

Even if you don’t feel strong right now, you are stronger than you think. You have made it through every difficult day life has thrown at you so far: the heartbreaks, the fear, the days when getting out of bed felt like an achievement, and the moments when you had no idea how you were going to carry on. And yet, here you are.

Perhaps you don’t recognise yourself anymore. Perhaps you feel as though you’re rebuilding your whole life from the ground up. But rebuilding doesn’t mean you're broken. It means you have the chance to decide what stays, what goes and what you want your life to look like from here. You don’t need to have all the answers today. You only need to take the next small step.

And if, after everything you've been through, you've somehow managed not to become bitter, if you can still love, still care and still hope for something better, then you're an incredible human being. Please don’t forget that.

This chapter may have knocked you down, but it's not the end of your story. There's still so much life ahead of you. There are people you haven’t met yet, places you haven’t been and versions of yourself you haven’t had the chance to become. You are not starting again from nothing. You are starting again with experience, courage and a much clearer understanding of what you deserve.

And one day, you’ll look back at the woman who thought she couldn’t take any more and realise: she did. She carried you all the way through. 🩷