Hold your horses everyone… I think I’ve just had an insight. Yes, you guessed it, I’ve just come off a call with Jessie. I’m not sure if this is going to sound obvious when I write it down, but apparently when something becomes obvious, that’s exactly when it's an insight. 

Alright… ready? Hold onto your chair.

What you focus on is what you feel. It sounds almost too simple, but it’s really landed for me. You know when someone who irritates you randomly pops into your head? Instantly your mood shifts. Nothing has actually happened, but suddenly you feel annoyed, tense, off. And what I’ve realised is it’s not the person, it’s the image. That thought isn’t real, it’s just something your brain has placed there, and somehow we treat it like it’s happening right now.

There’s someone I find pretty frustrating. I won’t go into why, but they have a tendency to create gossip and drama and bring a heavy atmosphere. Every now and then their face would just appear in my mind and I’d feel annoyed. But now when that happens, I pause and I replace the image. Instead of replaying them, I picture something completely different, like someone who makes me smile, or something calm and grounding, and the feeling shifts almost immediately. It’s strange how quickly it works, but it really does.

And then it clicked that this isn’t just about people, it’s the same with cravings. If you’re really fancying chocolate or alcohol, it’s because you’re holding onto thoughts about it - the taste, the feeling, the experience. So I started experimenting. When the image of alcohol pops up, I swap it for something else, like a calming chamomile tea or a healthier alternative that my body actually wants. And my brain follows. The craving softens, sometimes it disappears completely.

So the insight, the thing that feels so obvious now but somehow wasn’t before, is this: what’s in your head isn’t actually real, but it shapes how you feel as if it is. And if that’s true, then it’s also changeable. You don’t have to go along with every thought or image that appears. You can choose what you focus on, and that choice changes your experience in the moment.

It’s simple, it’s a bit weird, but it works. And once you notice it, you can’t really unsee it. 🩷