Something happened today that I've found myself getting a bit upset about. Objectively, it was tiny. If I told someone else what had happened, they'd probably wonder why I'd given it a second thought. If I'm honest, I'm probably blowing it completely out of proportion. But whatever happened created a feeling in me that wasn't great.

For some reason, I ended up texting the receptionist. I don't even really know why. Most of the time I keep these things to myself, but this time I just felt like telling her. I think it's because she's one of those people who never judges. She doesn't make you feel silly, even when you're probably being a bit silly. She just listens, tells me not to worry and somehow that's enough.

I know I've mentioned her before, but she's just one of those people who feels like sunshine. Do you know what I mean? Some people just have this way of making everything feel a little bit lighter. I honestly don't think I've ever met anyone quite so kind or caring, and never once have I felt judged by her. I genuinely feel incredibly grateful to have her in my life. People like that are rare. 

Anyway, when I got home, my brain started to go into overdrive. "In two years I'm going to..." "I'll build this." "I'll do that." Within minutes I'd gone from feeling upset to setting myself huge goals. At first I thought, "Sarah, this is ridiculous. Why are you reacting like this?" But to be honest, those goals hadn't suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They've been sitting at the back of my mind for a while. And whatever happened today had simply brought them back to the surface.

Years ago, I was sitting in a room with someone who asked me to describe what I imagined my future life looking like. I could picture a building surrounded by greenery, with huge glass windows letting in loads of natural light. It felt calm. Peaceful. The people around me were friendly, relaxed and genuinely enjoyed being there. And, naturally, there were dogs wandering around too.

At the time, I didn't really know what that picture was. I wasn't even sure whether it was something I genuinely wanted or just a nice idea my imagination had come up with. Then life carried on. The business grew, I got busy looking after clients and dealing with everything that comes with running a business. I like where I work now, so that vision slowly faded into the background. It never completely disappeared, but I stopped thinking about it.

Then today something happened. In reality, it really doesn't matter. It wasn't a big thing. But somehow it pressed a button and, instead of creating a new dream, it reminded me of an old one. It reignited something I'd completely forgotten was there. I've written before about push energy and pull energy. Pull energy is when you're drawn towards something because it excites you. Push energy is when something happens that gives you the kick you need to start moving. Maybe that's what happened today. Maybe the feeling itself wasn't important. Maybe it was simply the thing that woke me up.

When I got home, I texted the receptionist again. This time I wasn't talking about what had happened. I was telling her about what I wanted to build and that, when the time came, I wanted her to come with me. I love that she just goes along with it. She probably thinks I'm joking. I'm not. I originally said, "Two years." Then I started talking myself out of it. I was like, "Well, we'll need an exercise studio... and we'll need this... and we'll need that... so maybe five years instead." But she wasn't having any of it. She simply replied, "No. Two is better. Let's do it xx" I think she'd quite like to retire soon! So... I've gone back to two years. There you have it. That's the goal. It probably sounds a bit mad, and maybe a little impulsive, but it doesn't actually feel impulsive to me. It feels like something that was already inside me and has suddenly been brought right to the forefront of my mind. 

Maybe in a few days I'll wonder why I got so worked up about something so small. I'm sure I'll realise I was completely overreacting. But perhaps that's the point. Sometimes the smallest moments don't change your life because they matter in themselves. They change your life because they uncover something that already mattered. A dream you've stopped thinking about. A direction you've drifted away from. A version of your future that somehow got buried underneath the busyness of everyday life.

So maybe the question isn't, "Why has this upset me so much?" Maybe the better question is, "What has this brought to the surface?" Because every now and then, the things that frustrate us aren't actually obstacles. They're reminders. And sometimes all it takes is one tiny moment to remember exactly where you're meant to be heading. 🩷