You know the poem If— by Rudyard Kipling? I was reading it the other day. I know, I don’t normally read much poetry, but for some reason I’ve got back into it lately. Not avidly or anything… just the odd one here and there. There’s something about a really good poem that manages to say so much in so few words. And it takes me far less time to read, which is great because it takes me ages to finish a book! 

Anyway, this line is so good:

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same.”

I think when things are going well, it’s easy to believe you’ve finally cracked it. You feel confident, capable and pretty certain you know what you’re doing. Then something goes wrong. A relationship changes, your health lets you down, work becomes difficult or a plan you’d carefully put together completely falls apart. And suddenly, you start questioning everything.

But life isn’t simply one or the other. Success doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again, just as failure doesn’t mean you’ve failed at life. They’re both moments. They arrive, they affect us and, eventually, they pass.

There will always be good times and bad times, wins and failures, moments when everything seems to fall into place and others when nothing does. It isn’t a sign that we’re doing life wrong; it’s just a natural part of being alive. I think of it a bit like the stock market, probably because I’m a financial adviser, but there are definitely similarities. Markets rise and markets fall. We don’t know when they’ll change direction, how far they’ll move or how long either period will last.

When markets have been rising for a while, it’s surprisingly easy to forget that falls are a normal part of investing. Then, when one inevitably comes along, we react as though something has gone terribly wrong. As though nobody warned us this could happen. As though markets have never fallen before and may never recover again. Life can be exactly the same.

When we’re on a winning streak, we quickly get used to things going well and almost start to believe that this is how life is supposed to be. So, when something difficult happens (often when we least expect it) we don’t just feel sad, worried or disappointed; we feel as though it shouldn’t be happening at all. Then, when we’ve been struggling for a while, the opposite happens. We forget what it felt like when life was good and start to believe that perhaps it will always feel this way.

But neither is true. The highs don’t last forever, but neither do the lows. That doesn’t mean difficult experiences don’t matter, or that we should dismiss them. Some things are simply painful and incredibly hard. But they still don’t tell the whole story.

The difficult chapter you’re living through now is not proof that your entire life is a disaster. In the same way, a run of success doesn’t make you invincible. Triumph and disaster are both impostors because each tries to convince us that this moment is who we are and how life will always be. It isn’t.

With investing, you could avoid most short-term market falls by keeping all your long-term money in cash. Cash is absolutely the right place for emergency savings and money you expect to need soon, but over the long term, avoiding market uncertainty means accepting less opportunity for growth and the risk that inflation gradually erodes what your money can buy. You can remove some of the bumps, but there’s a price for doing so.

I think the same is true of life. If you want to avoid every possible low, you would also have to avoid many of the things that create the highs. Don’t fall in love, because someone might hurt you. Don’t build a business, because it might fail. Don’t change career, because you might regret it. Don’t trust anyone, because they might let you down. Don’t get too excited, because it might not work out. Don’t really live, because living involves risk.

You might protect yourself from some pain that way, but you would also miss so much of the joy. A life spent trying to avoid every disappointment becomes a bit like keeping all your long-term money in cash. It can feel safer, but you may quietly sacrifice the growth that could have happened.

You can’t have a completely full life without uncertainty. You can’t open your heart and guarantee it will never be broken. You can’t chase something meaningful and guarantee you’ll succeed. You can’t experience real joy without accepting that life may not always feel joyful. That’s the deal: the highs and the lows come together.

Perhaps the aim isn’t to create a life where nothing bad ever happens. That was never going to be within our control anyway. Perhaps it’s to build a life, and become a person, capable of surviving the difficult parts without forgetting that good things will come again.

Enjoy the highs when they arrive, but don’t believe they make you better than anyone else. Feel the lows when they come, but don’t let them convince you that you’re broken or that your life is over. Triumph will visit. Disaster may visit too. Neither gets to stay forever. 🩷