Okay, so I think I had a pretty big realisation this morning.

I was doing my usual spin session and afterwards, as I've been doing every day, I sat there quietly for a bit and thought about everything I’m grateful for. And there’s a lot. I’ve got two healthy boys, a safe home, good food, free medical care through the NHS, and I live in a country where I can have my own business and actually build something I care about. They're pretty significant things to be grateful for.

Then my mind drifted to someone I care deeply about. This person has been through a lot in their life. A lot of tough stuff. And they’re depressed and have a negative outlook on life. And as I was thinking about them, something just clicked. Because I realised that someone else could have gone through the exact same experiences and still ended up with a more positive outlook. And actually, if you really look at this person’s life now, there are a lot of positives in it. Like, genuinely significant ones. Things that some other people would do anything to have.

So that got me thinking… maybe it’s not the experiences themselves that are making someone depressed. Maybe it’s the mind. The thoughts. The way we replay things over and over again. Because if you let all of that stuff live in your head constantly, of course everything feels heavy. You become a prisoner to your own thoughts. And if you could leave some of that in the past and actually focus on what’s good right now, your thoughts would feel lighter… and you would feel lighter too.

And I want to be really clear here - I’m not minimising what anyone has been through. Not at all. Life throws hard things at everyone. It’s just part of it. It’s never plain sailing. Things come out of nowhere, just when you think everything’s finally okay, and test you again. That’s just life.

But when you really think about it, there are people who’ve been through absolutely horrendous things and still manage to be light, positive, and open. They don’t carry the same weight a lot of people do. And I honestly think it’s because they’re not carrying those thoughts around with them all the time. They’ve let go. They're living in the present, in what matters, in the here and now.

Because if you keep holding onto the past, onto old traumas and pain, that’s going to create heavy, negative thoughts. And those thoughts will make you feel awful. But if you forgive the past, let it go, and start focusing on what you have instead of what hurt you, wouldn’t you feel better? Doesn’t it make sense that your thoughts might actually be what’s keeping you stuck?

And when you let go of the past - of those thoughts that keep you trapped in your own mind - you can hear your true self again. That inner wisdom that’s always been there. That quiet truth, like Brené Brown says, that you are inherently worthy of love and belonging. Not because of what you’ve achieved or proved, but simply because you’re human. 🩷