So I caught a podcast clip the other day - one of those unexpectedly profound, soul-punchy nuggets that hits way harder than it has any right to before 9 a.m. It went something like this:

Your ego hates hard times, but your soul grows from them.

And I was like… wow. Rude.

Also: painfully accurate.

Also: OH, COME ON.

Look, I get it. I’ve read the books. I’ve heard the talks. Heck, I’ve even posted about how uncomfortable this whole growth thing really is.

But seriously - does it have to be this much growth?

How long is this personal development road trip supposed to take, exactly?

Is this a spiritual journey… or a hostage situation?

Because right now, it feels like I’m crawling through a metaphorical desert - no water bottle, no map, the A/C is busted, and my ego’s in the passenger seat like, “Ugh. Are we thriving yet?” Meanwhile, my soul’s hiding in the boot whispering, “Shhh... this is where the magic happens.”

So yeah, this whole journey - being lost, dehydrated, completely directionless? Not exactly the dream. I’ll probably make it out of this phase (please tell me I will), and if I’m lucky, I’ll forget just how brutal it was. Then I’ll turn around and write an annoyingly upbeat blog post called “Just Enjoy the Journey!” - conveniently omitting the part where I was metaphorically eating sand and crying under an imaginary cactus.

Right now? I don’t want the “one day you’ll look back and laugh” kind of growth.

I want the “Hey, I can take a couple of weeks off without my entire life imploding” kind of growth.

That’s the kind of growth I’d like to subscribe to, please and thank you.

And yes, yes - patience is a virtue, good things come to those who wait, blah blah. But how much patience are we talking here? Because if I get any more patient, I’m going to end up as a cautionary tale in someone else’s podcast:

“She waited so long for her breakthrough, she ascended into another dimension. Inspirational.”

So yeah. Shoutout to the soul growth. I respect it. But if someone could toss me a map, a snack, and maybe a sign that I’m at least headed in the right direction… that’d be great.

Speaking of signs…

The other morning, I was listening to another one of those micro-dose podcast wisdom bites - because apparently, I like my enlightenment like I like my snacks: bite-sized. This one featured Mel Robbins talking about how you should high-five yourself in the mirror for confidence, motivation, and all that jazz.

Later that day, feeling borderline functional, I decided to channel Mel. Driving to a client meeting, I glanced in the rearview mirror, smiled at myself, went for the high-five - 

 - and completely missed the turn I was supposed to take.

Nice one, Mel.

So here I am: still growing, still driving, still occasionally high-fiving myself into mild detours. My ego is loudly asking for ETAs. My soul is napping in the backseat with zero regard for timelines.

And if you happen to see me out here - dusty, confused, maybe slightly feral - just know I’m doing my best. I’m still driving through this godforsaken metaphorical desert, waiting for a sign, a snack, or a damn upgrade to spiritual cruise control.

Catch me on the other side of growth.

I’ll be the one writing a post titled, “Enjoy the Journey!” with the confidence of someone who finally found a petrol station, a map, and sense of direction.