I’m going to ramble about the retreat again - because, well....I’m still processing it.

Remember last Wednesday’s blog post when I shared that at the retreat, someone said something like, “You keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Maybe you need to try something different?” Isn’t it funny how sometimes it takes an outsider to point out what we need to do? If we saw the same pattern in someone else, the answer might seem obvious - but when it’s our own situation, why is it so hard to see?

That Floaty Feeling

A week after the retreat, I feel… different. In a good way.

There’s this floaty feeling, like the pressure I’ve been carrying has finally started to lift. My to-do list is still long (when is it not?), but that old voice screaming “Do it all right now!” has gone quiet. I feel less rushed. Less clenched.

Strangely, I’m also more tired - but it’s the kind of tired that feels like my body exhaling after holding its breath for too long.

Quick side note: I know I probably sound a little unhinged. One minute I’m all like, “Life is amazing!” and the next I’m grumbling, “Ugh, why am I digging up these uncomfortable feelings?” Then the pendulum swings again, and suddenly I feel lighter, like something has actually shifted for the better. It’s chaotic, I know - I’m fully aware of how unstable I sound. But maybe that’s just part of the process.

A Little Perspective

One of the hosts, Jessie, said a quote, which I keep thinking about:

“We’re all spiritual beings having a human experience.”

 

It made me realise how much I was getting caught up in the grind again - the deadlines, the lists, the self-criticism - and how easy it is to lose sight of the bigger picture.

The human experience can be pretty tough, right? But it gets even harder when you let yourself get completely swallowed up by it. When you step back and put things into perspective, you start to see how many of the things you stress over really don’t matter that much after all.

Little Insights, Big Shifts

Since the retreat, small insights keep popping up like little doors cracking open. I’m seeing where I can make the biggest impact in my business - without the suffocating pressure I was putting on myself.

I’ll be working with Jessie, and maybe that’s part of what’s changing for me. Who really knows? What I do know is that I feel wide open to whatever comes next.

Since the retreat, unexpected kindness has shown up: flowers, a heartfelt email, the warmest, longest hug. I still feel tired, but lighter too - calmer, more grounded, freer in a way I didn’t expect.

A New Start

It’s Tuesday evening - the last day of September - and honestly? I feel pretty content.

I’ve just moved offices, and maybe that’s exactly what I need. Now I’m sharing a space with someone else instead of sitting alone all day. Working by myself had slowly pulled me back into an old mindset: “I’m fine on my own. I should be able to do this by myself.”

I’ve touched on this before, but while I do enjoy solitude, I was starting to get stuck in my own head - and that’s never a good place to linger for too long.

It reminds me of being 17, living alone in a bedsit. I remember my mum saying, “You’re not good when you’re by yourself. You need to be around people.” And - of course - she was right.

Looking back, I think I was the one insisting I’d be fine on my own. I wasn’t. The next thing I remember is my mum’s friend showing up to take me to her place. At the time, I didn’t question it - but now I wonder if my mum had quietly stepped in behind the scenes.

Anyway, I’m digressing - but it’s funny how this move stirred that memory back up. A reminder that sometimes being around others is exactly what we need, even when we try to convince ourselves otherwise. And if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s convincing myself otherwise.

What If It All Works Out?

Someone said something at the retreat that just keeps popping into my head:

“What if it works out better than you could ever have imagined?”

Yes, of course, hard things happen. Life falls apart sometimes. But what if - just as easily - it all turns out better than we ever dared to picture?

At the time, I was an emotional wreck, barely holding myself together. Looking back now, though, I love that question. We spend so much energy doubting ourselves, bracing for the worst, preparing for disappointment. But what if the story unfolds differently? What if things actually work out better than we dreamed?

Even just entertaining that possibility feels like a small miracle.

I also came across another quote recently (shocker, I can’t remember where):

“One day it will all make sense. Just not today.”

 

I blinking love that! A gentle reminder to stop forcing meaning. To let it be. To trust that maybe - eventually - everything will line up. Because hope is powerful, right?

Right now, I just feel a lot of warmth. A lot of love. From the people I’ve met, and from those small, unexpected moments of kindness that sneak up on you. Honestly, I feel it spilling over onto the people around me too.

There are a few people I want to give massive bear hugs to - pretty shocking, I know. The only thing stopping me is the fear they’ll think I’ve completely lost the plot. (Which, to be fair, I probably have.)

I blame Jessie for this - at the retreat, she radiated so much love, like a human-sized teddy bear. It was contagious. And it reminded me that it’s okay to be like that - open, kind, and unapologetically loving. Yes, it’s important to be mindful of who you surround yourself with, but there really are people out there who lead with genuine softness and warmth.

Since I’ve been back, I’ve noticed something shifting. I’m not suddenly hugging everyone - that’s still not really “me” - but I do feel surrounded by more people who carry that same openness. I don’t know, it just feels different right now. Good different. Soft. Hopeful. And I’m all in.

As much as I’d love to stay in this feeling forever, I know feelings pass. (If you’ve read my past posts, you already know I’m no stranger to the emotional rollercoaster.) But the good part is knowing I’ll have this moment to look back on when things feel heavy again - a reminder that the tough stuff always passes, and that I can find my way back here when it does.

Maybe in a few weeks I’ll be back in a funk. Who knows? But today, I’m here. I’m hopeful. And I'm blinking loving it. 🩷