She told me she didn’t grow up with money. For most of her life, she had very little. Then she met someone with a high salary, and suddenly money wasn’t a problem. Nothing was out of reach - a big house, expensive clothes, anything she wanted. And yet… she wasn’t happy.
I kept thinking about this, because in many ways, I’ve always believed that money can’t buy happiness. I’m not talking about having your basic needs met, because that absolutely matters. Financial security is important, and constant money stress can be exhausting and frightening. I know that from experience. I’ve been in debt before, and it was incredibly stressful. Not having to worry about rent, food or bills is freeing. But it still isn’t the same thing as happiness.
For a long time, I believed money itself was negative. I thought people who had a lot of it had lost touch with what really matters, that they didn’t value meaningful things, and that the people around them were somehow less happy.
Once that idea took root, every experience that seemed to confirm it stuck in my mind. I built a story about money without even realising it, and I unconsciously sought out “proof” to support it. Of course, when you look for proof of a belief, you always find it. Always.
Looking back now, I see that those ideas weren’t absolute truths; they were simply my thoughts, shaped by how I interpreted my experiences. Sure, some people abuse money and power. You don’t have to look very far to see that. But that’s not the whole picture.
Money itself isn’t inherently good or bad. It simply amplifies who someone already is and what they choose to do. I truly believe now that it can be a force for meaningful, positive change. And honestly, it’s a relief to see it that way - because if I hadn’t, I would have kept living under an invisible ceiling, weighed down by the idea that having a lot of money was automatically “bad.”
Still, I don’t believe money creates happiness. Some people with very little are far happier than those with a lot. And yet, so many of us grow up thinking that money will fix our unhappiness - especially if we didn’t have much of it to begin with. It makes sense. If you’ve never had money, it’s easy to think, If I just had more, I’d finally feel better.
But what we’re really asking money to do is fill an emotional gap. How is a bigger house truly better than a smaller one that’s safe, warm, and perfectly fine? I know that for me, a bigger house would not make me any happier than the one I live in now. Yes, it might be more convenient for my boys to have their own rooms but convenience is not the same thing as joy. Somewhere along the way, society has convinced us that “nice” houses, cars, and possessions equal happiness - but they don’t.
Because if you don’t have strong foundations, emotional safety, genuine support, or a life that aligns with your values, no material thing will fill that void. Yet so many people tie themselves up in invisible chains - huge mortgages, debt, and constant pressure - chasing a lifestyle that doesn’t even make them happy. To impress friends, family, or society. To prove something about themselves that has nothing to do with their character or true self.
Ask yourself: why do you think a bigger house, a fancier car, or expensive items will make you happier? Yes, they’re nice to have, but they aren’t essential. They may give a brief rush or the illusion of status, but it fades quickly. True fulfillment doesn’t come from validation or material things.
Real happiness and fulfillment come from within - from tuning into yourself and truly understanding who you are and what matters to you. From knowing, deep down, that you are worthy of love and belonging, regardless of the external things around you.
It’s about having the confidence and self-belief to trust yourself - to listen to your own wisdom rather than the constant pull of expectations and opinions. Beneath the pressure and the beliefs you’ve absorbed over the years, one simple truth remains: you already know what genuinely brings you joy.
It’s not the things you own; it’s the connections you make, the emotional safety you feel, and the life you create that aligns with who you are. Objects can’t fill the gaps. At best, they offer a fleeting thrill - and then it’s gone. Real joy comes from living authentically, not accumulating things.
Happiness isn’t bought. It’s nurtured. And it starts with being true to yourself, surrounded by the people and experiences that genuinely matter. Because at the end of the day, that’s what life is really about. 🩷
