It’s Sunday, and I’ve just come back from spin class - and I blinking loved it!

The spin instructor (who's also my PT - I’ve mentioned her before, remember?) is just one of those genuinely kind, caring humans. Her spin classes have this atmosphere where everyone feels welcome. No cliques. No judgement. Just good vibes, good people… oh, and good music too. 

Even the class she covered the other day had a good vibe. Maybe you attract the kind of people you are? Either way, no matter how busy work gets, I’ll always make time for her class - she’s genuinely one of the good ones.

On validation, motivation, and community

Quick throwback to last Wednesday’s blog where I rambled on about validation. Let me clear something up:

Motivation? Big fan. A bit of encouragement, that push to keep going, people reminding you why you started - I’ll totally take it.

Community? Love it. People supporting each other, sharing ideas, actually showing up for one another.

Validation? Yeah, not so great. 

Validation is when you start looking outside yourself for proof that you’re good enough - waiting on likes, claps, or someone else’s approval before you believe in what you’re doing. The problem is, once you hand that power over, you’ll always be chasing it.

I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but you’ve got to believe in yourself and figure out what actually feels meaningful to you. Look, people don’t always clap for the ones doing better than them - they clap for the underdog. So if you rely on external validation, you’ll get it on the way up, but when it suddenly stops? You’re left wondering what you did wrong, or worse, doubting your own worth. And that is pretty painful, right?

It’s not easy either. Social media is built to feed that cycle - those dopamine hits from likes and comments can feel addictive. But that’s why it’s so important to separate genuine support and encouragement (which fuels growth) from validation (which keeps you hooked on approval).

Feedback is great. Growth is necessary. But don’t wait for a standing ovation before you back yourself.

Accidentally finding a community

Last week, I stumbled into a real online community completely by accident. I had downloaded an app thinking it was just a way to track my own progress, but it turned out to also be a space where people share their progress and support one another.

At first, I just lurked. Then I started liking posts. I liked how genuine the stories were - real people sharing real updates. No performance, no noise - just authenticity.

I guess it's made me realise that the best communities aren’t built on numbers, likes, or volume. They’re built on shared values - on people moving in the same direction, striving toward similar goals.

When I first started thinking about communities, I honestly thought it was as simple as bringing people together and assuming everyone would naturally want the best for each other. Yeah… I know how that sounds. And looking back, I can see just how naïve I was. Let’s be real - I can be naïve about a lot of things. But hey, I’m learning, right?

Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned it’s not about just “getting people in a room.” What really matters is alignment: people who actually get each other, who share the same intent, who find meaning in moving forward together - and in supporting the ones who might be moving a little slower along the way.

I’ve already noticed the positive effect this online community’s had on me. It made me realise that where I choose to spend time - both online and in real life - has a pretty big impact.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just overly sensitive to what’s around me. But surely it affects everyone, right? Just in different ways and to different degrees.

Like the other day, a video of a woman who was killed on a train came up on my feed. It was awful, and it left me thinking about how fragile life is - how it could just end, out of nowhere. Then there’s hearing about yet another shooting in the US. Honestly, what a shitshow. Seriously, what does it take for them to ban guns? 

And that’s why I don’t really read the news anymore. It’s rarely ever positive - and most of the time it just drains me. It messes with my energy

And it’s the same with people - negative gossip, bitterness, or anyone talking crap about others. I hate it. I really hate it. I know it often says more about them than the people they’re criticising, but it’s awful energy to sit in. So I steer clear of anyone who seems to think that’s okay.

And lately? I’ve been feeling lighter. Maybe it’s because I finally pulled my hand away from that metaphorical hot stove I mentioned in a past blog. Instead of forcing things, I’ve been letting life take the lead - and somehow, I’ve drifted toward some truly kind, genuine people. It feels like once I loosened my grip, the right people naturally came closer. Now, even small things feel different. At spin class, for instance, the energy has shifted: people smile, they’re warm, they’re open. It’s simple, but it feels really good.

To be honest, I feel really lucky right now. I feel very different to how I did just 4 months ago. I love where I work, and the people here make it even better. One of the receptionists is honestly the loveliest human. On a boiling hot day, she made sure I had water, and she radiates this nurturing, caring energy that just lifts your day. She calls herself “sensitive,” and maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her. She’s kind. Proper kind. I love how she genuinely cares about others. She’s funny too, so easy to chat with, and the kind of person you genuinely miss when she’s not around. Just a total gem.

Meanwhile, in other random life updates…

• That government phone alarm: Did anyone else nearly launch themselves into space when it went off? I had a mini heart attack. Imagine being in a quiet cinema, mid–plot twist, and suddenly: BAAARP. Or worse, if you’re in prison and managed to sneak in a phone. Yep, that would definitely be game over.

• My cat’s love life: There’s a cat hanging around our front driveway that looks like a female version of our cat. Are cats actually into partners who look like them, the way people supposedly are? I mean… what even is that about?

• The legendary Sports Direct mug: Please tell me I’m not the only one who misses those giant mugs that could fit an entire tin of Heinz soup. Can you still get them? Mine broke (very sad day), and now it's getting colder, I miss coming home, curling up, and sipping a massive, steaming cup of Heinz tomato soup.

• Work life: Weirdly enough, I’m actually enjoying work at the moment. Busy? Absolutely. Stressful? I guess so. But I don’t hate it. I can feel myself making progress, and with someone new on board supporting me, it feels like things are moving…well, somewhere. Best of all, I’ve still managed to spend quality time with my boys this week, so all in all, it’s been a pretty good week.

So, here’s my Sunday takeaway: seek out good people, nurture the things that bring you joy, and let go of the stuff that drags you down. Whether it’s a spin class, an online community, or just a ridiculously oversized mug of soup, it’s the little things - and the right people - that make life feel good. 🩷