Okay, let me ask you something. Do you ever have those days where your head just will not settle down?

Well, today is one of those days....again.

You know how yesterday my mind was spiralling? Well, today wasn’t any better - if anything, it got worse. I found myself worrying about people, even someone I barely know, and my thoughts kept jumping straight to worst-case scenarios.

I’d catch myself thinking, “Okay, Sarah… even if they were in a bad situation, how could you actually help them? And anyway, realistically, they probably wouldn’t even want your help."

But then my mind would fire back: "What if they really do need help? You know most people don’t ask for it, right, they don’t want to be a burden. What if something bad happens and you didn’t do anything at all?"

And just like that, around and around it went. Same thoughts, different wording, stuck in a loop that felt impossible to escape.

When the Mind Goes Straight to Panic

Here’s an example: on Sunday morning, I couldn’t get hold of my mum. She’d had a hospital appointment on Friday, and I hadn’t heard from her since. Instantly, my mind went into panic mode, convinced that something bad had happened.

When I finally spoke to her? She was absolutely fine. So why did my mind go straight to the worst‑case scenario?

Today it felt like my head just wouldn’t calm down. So I did the only thing that helped in that moment: I messaged Jessie. In my head it sounded something like: “Please, Jessie…please help me with this ridiculous mind of mine.”

What Jessie Reminded Me Of (And What Really Helped)

I want to share what Jessie said in her voice note to me, because it helped me so much, and maybe it’ll help you too.

Jessie reminded me of something really simple, but pretty powerful:

Every single one of us experiences big waves of thinking that come and go. Every one of us.

Sometimes, the mind latches onto certain thoughts - the ones with extra emotion, extra charge - and it holds onto them longer. And what do we innocently do?

We try to do something about them.

I was doing exactly that. I told myself, “These thoughts don’t mean anything.” But the thing is, trying to convince myself they didn’t mean anything actually created more thinking. It made them feel more important, like they needed my attention.

When we tell ourselves to stop thinking, or stop adding meaning, we often just turn up the volume. More thinking leads to more intensity. More intensity creates stronger feelings. Wherever our head goes, our feelings follow. Feelings aren’t the problem, they’re just letting us know how much thinking we’re caught up in.

Why Trying Harder Makes It Worse

When I got frustrated and tried even harder to fix it, I was really just adding more revs to the engine. I was fueling the thoughts, which only amplified the experience I was already having.

But what Jessie said, and what helps is knowing that thinking is fluid. Whatever thinking you’re in right now, even the uncomfortable kind, isn’t permanent. Your thinking will change and that will bring a different feeling and a different experience.

Jessie pointed out that if you look at your experience at different moments throughout the day, it’s never exactly the same. Even if your mind keeps returning to the same topic, you’re not thinking about it, or feeling the same emotions, constantly. For example, when I was talking with the receptionists at work, I wasn’t caught up in my earlier thoughts or experiencing the feelings I had earlier in the day.

In Jessie’s words: “That’s just the nature of thought.”

Nothing Is Wrong With You

Whatever is on our mind is our experience. And when thoughts naturally pass, which they do when we don’t lean into them or fight them, our experience changes. Our attention moves. We find ourselves in a different moment, a different feeling, a different state of mind.

The more we can have an experience without forming an opinion about it, the less gripped we are by it.

Throughout the day, we’re all going to feel uncomfortable at times. That’s unavoidable. But we have options. We can:

• Get pulled into it

• Have an opinion about it

• Stay stuck in it

   

Or we can notice it and think: “I feel uncomfortable. Oh well. I know this will pass. My future self will know what to do.”

Because when we’re caught in heavy thinking, that’s not the moment our best ideas show up anyway.

Less Fixing, More Remembering

This whole thing isn’t about doing more. It’s about remembering how it works.

When we resist thoughts - “This doesn’t mean anything, I shouldn’t think about this” - we create more mental noise. The more thinking we have on our mind, the more seriously we take it, and the bigger it feels. 

It’s not about never feeling uncomfortable - that’s impossible. It’s about knowing that discomfort will pass. It’s about trusting that clarity always comes after the storm, never during it.

When we truly understand this (what Jessie has been teaching me), something shifts. Yes, we will forget it sometimes, and then remember it again. But the more we remember that our thoughts pass, that it’s normal to have these feelings, and that our mind will naturally drift elsewhere in another moment, the more grounded we become.

Over time, each reminder anchors us a little more. It softens the edge of those intense waves of thinking and helps us ride them with less panic, less resistance, and more trust in the natural flow of our mind.

In the wise words of Jessie: we begin to see that it’s safe to feel it all, because we understand how it works. 🩷